Stoned?

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The Top Ten ways to tell if your stoned:
Does it feel like your brain is seeping out your ear's when you try to think?
Does the sound of a "Big Turk" make you horny or hungry?
Can you walk, if so your not stoned enough ;)
Do you have an insatiable craving for pickles?
Does it feel like there is suddenly more gravity on earth than there was before?
Do movies like Cheech & Chong suddenly make a world of sence?
Can you get up?
Does Black Sabbath sound really good right now?
Is the screen melting? Wrong drug then.
If you where stoned you'd be jacking off to goat porn.